I was away this weekend in Colorado and the Lord surprised me with His grace! I don’t know if you have heard my story or not so I will recap and then tell you what happened…I am still in shock!
I wanted to play football at the University of Oklahoma but was hurt my senior year in high school ( yes, I know Mizzou beat OU this weekend…what can I say it’s college football…good times, but I am still a Sooner at heart!) and ended up playing football at the University of Missouri. I didn’t want to play for the Tigers but I didn’t want to quit either, I’ve never quit anything in my life and I was deeply distressed over it all. All of my ill-founded feelings and self prescribed pain culminated one night in my small basement bedroom. I can’t believe I did this but it made sense at the time? I was being fed some very powerful lies during this period of my life. I mustered everything I had and asked “God”, the one I didn’t yet believe in; (reminds me of the words to the song ”Breakeven” from The Script…”Praying to a God that I don’t believe in”) to physically hurt me so that I wouldn’t have to play or just outright quit the team. Little did I know that I wasn’t praying to God at all but I was calling on “Belial/Beelzeboule”…the god of this world (Satan) who brings hopeless ruin and sends demonic oppression? Unbeknownst to me, I was asking to be oppressed by the destroyer, all so I could be relieved of temporary pain. I literally asked to be “maimed” so that I couldn’t play. I know what a foolish thing to even consider. My back and neck started giving me serious trouble from that day forward as my wish was supernaturally (not by God) granted. I retained the full privilege of my football scholarship on “medical” status. Things went from bad to worse in my physical and personal life and I spiraled into a place of darkness and despair that ultimately lead me to call on Christ. I hit the lowest point of my life and cried out to God; to this day I am still amazed and thankful that He responded to my plea!
February, 9, 1991 my life was forever changed as I asked Christ to be my savior. It was a radical conversion! I graduated from MU, got re-acquainted with my future wife (Tamara), and started going to church. I was then called into full-time Christian service, went to Seminary and began pastoring. Through the years the pain and dysfunction in my neck and back would slightly ease off at times and then spike back into critical levels in revolving seasons. Recently, I’ve been experiencing “life altering” pain and severe spasms in my neck. I have been to four doctors and have given considerable thought and attention to neurosurgery. I currently submit to four hours of therapy a week and see my Chiropractor at least twice a week. All the while, in the last year, the Lord has given me three specific “words” out of the scripture declaring that He would heal me; in fact, He has been encouraging me to confess that He has “already” healed me. I wrestled with the biblical concept of healing for some time and then came to the conclusion that “I am indeed already healed”, already healed in Christ. The second layer of understanding became clearer to me as the Lord instructed me to “believe” Him. I started declaring that the Lord “has healed me, I am healed”…but I don’t know when and I don’t know how. These two critical points had to be added because the Lord is sovereign and we don’t tell Him how or when, He decides that!
All of that to say, I really struggled with going to Colorado this last weekend. We are in the most important season we have ever been in as a church and it seemed unreasonable to miss the weekend, but I had committed to a Pastor from Kansas to teach at the retreat over a year ago. After much deliberation and prayer I was convinced of the fact that I needed to go. The Lord (and other faithful friends) helped me realize that my character in committing to go was a very important issue to the Lord and to the success of the retreat. The morning I got up to catch the plane to Colorado I heard the Lord tell me that He was pleased with me and that the trip was going to be attended by the supernatural. If I shared all of the little “God moments” with you all in detail it would comprise a whole book, suffice to say, every moment of the entire trip was simply amazing!
I spoke three times while at the retreat. After the mid morning session a man named Patrick (who was supposed to be in another meeting) approached me and told me that a man in the other group that was there was a Chiropractor in Dallas and had seen many people healed through his practice and prayer. Patrick asked if he could bring the doctor over to pray for my neck. I agreed but I didn’t think about the offer after our conversation and interaction that morning. The evening session was an hour away and Patrick and the doctor (Dr. Shane Hand) showed up, I was surprised and blessed to see such loving brotherly kindness and thoughtfulness.
The rest is just so God it’s hard to write it out long hand. All I can say is that Jesus showed up in such a powerful way for me, it was sooooo personal and powerful words can’t really do it ANY justice.
There was a brief introduction and Dr. Shane asked to pray for me. He placed his hand on my neck and the first thing he said to me was…”I believe this is a curse and it doesn’t belong to you”…”this shouldn’t be here.” “It’s been here a long time and you don’t have to carry this any longer.” I was already feeling very weak in the knees at this point. He went on speaking in a regular tone and rebuked the “principalities of Babylon” who levy infirmities on men, and then he called out “Balak” who tried to curse Israel but ultimately ended up blessing them instead. A massive rush of power swept over me and I fell straight down to my knees, followed by several, very course, deep-chested coughs. I felt the stronghold break and release and it was forced out as I coughed! It was very clear what had happened, I am free of the yoke of that bondage! I wept and thanked Patrick and Dr. Hand who had so graciously come to help me…I remember praying over their “beautiful” feet while I was on my knees. The doctor had boots on, go figure he is from Texas. I also remember the him repeatedly telling me…”you are a blessed man”, “this is settled”, “it’s over”, “you are a blessed man of God.” Amen and Amen! The band was practicing in our meeting room so I had the opportunity to praise the Lord with loud shouts, prayer, and singing for about forty-five minutes before the next session was to start.
I wrote this to testify of the magnitude of God’s grace!!!! So that you aren’t confused, let me end by telling you exactly what the Lord has confirmed, and spoken. The oppression (The Curse from so long ago) has been broken…I mean broken! The Lord witnessed to me just after the prayer time that “now” I am to continue therapy and that “now” I will have the blessing and opportunity to actually get better with the treatment. My physical body has been through a lot over the years but now it has the ability to respond “normally” to medicinal and therapeutic applications, maybe the need for surgery still exists, but I am not going there right now. I am canceling my appointment with the neurosurgeon for next Monday; if I need it in the future I will figure that out when the time comes. I am trusting the Lord for the whole deal. I am healed, I am healed, I am healed…and now I am in the process of the fullness of His promise!!!
Through reading the Word (Logos) every day the Lord has given me His specific and personal Word (Rhema) regarding this promise to me. The night the curse was broken I was severely attacked with wicked images and verbal assaults, all to try to discourage me from what truly took place. Interestingly, the same thing happened to me the night I trusted Christ. The enemy will try to discourage you any way he can, but don’t make the mistake of letting him steal anything from you, especially what the Lord has already declared as revelational truth. I was in pain the next day as we travel home but I kept on confessing the truth of what took place, the enemy has been defeated and the oppression lifted. My neck has begun to feel “different” from a structural standpoint. My Doctor and the therapist both commented yesterday that “something has really changed”, praise God! My wife was weeping tonight, she said “I don’t know what to do with you; you have so much spunk back”. I had resorted to taking muscles relaxers (x 4 per day) and a mild pain medicine (x 3 per day) I started last week. Not today though, I haven’t had the first one and my neck and back feel better than they have in a really long time! The muscles are still tight and there is still discomfort but “something” has been set right internally. No one has ever been able to truly pinpoint the depth of the dysfunction or where it originated. It’s like the “lock” in my neck was released and I know that the “gate” for full recovery is open and the structure is now ready to respond properly.
Holy junk, Jesus is the Crunk (reference to our last First Wednesday). I am rejoicing all over again!! Our God is an awesome God, faithful throughout every generation! He heals and sets free, He calls and delivers, He anoints and justifies those who trust in His Holy name!
Unto your freedom, be free!
